They do it down on Camber Sands, they do it at Waikiki   
Lazing about the beach all day, at night the crickets creepy   
Squinting faces at the sky, a Harold Robbins paperback   
Surfers drop their boards and dry, and everybody wants a hat
 
But behind the chalet
My holiday's complete
And I feel like William Tell
Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet
Pulling mussels from a shell 

Shrinking in the sea so cold topless ladies look away   
A he-man in a sudden shower shelters from the rain   
You wish you had a motor boat to pose around the harbour bar   
And when the sun goes off to bed, you hook it up behind the car 

But behind the chalet
My holiday's complete
And I feel like William Tell
Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet
Pulling mussels from a shell
Pulling mussels from a shell   

Two fat ladies window shop, something for the mantelpiece   
In for bingo, all the nines, a panda for sweet little niece   
Coach drivers stand about, looking at a local map   
About the boy he's gone away, down to next door's caravan

But behind the chalet
My holiday's complete
And I feel like William Tell
Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet
Pulling mussels from a shell
Pulling mussels from a shell

But behind the chalet
My holiday's complete
And I feel like William Tell
Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet
Pulling mussels from a shell
Pulling mussels from a shell